Be Proactive! Look for these 18 Signs Someone is Struggling

Sometimes we may write mishaps off as a fluke, but these warning signs someone is having difficulty are important not to ignore as the person’s condition may worsen or they could end up in danger or financial hardships. It is also important to speak with the person about the issue as the reason for the difficulty may not be obvious (ex. not taking medications due to financial hardships vs. forgetting to take medications).

There could be a variety of causes that are contributing to each of these warning signs and it is important to speak with the doctor or qualified health professionals to determine the cause and a path forward for wellbeing.

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Poor Hygiene

Body odor, smell of urine, unkept hair, poor oral hygiene. This may be a bigger issue than many think as poor hygiene can lead to infections, skin breakdown, etc.

Mobility issues, issues stepping into and out of a shower or bath, depression, lack of supplies for proper hygiene may be some causes. Speaking with a doctor and a possible occupational therapist referral, home modifications or hiring a caregiver may be helpful.

Falls, near falls or signs of a fall

Bruises, cuts, limping or new complaints of pain may be a sign of a fall.

Sometimes falls are not directly reported due to embarrassment or not wanting loved one’s to worry, so ensure to look for the signs of a fall or near fall. Near falls and bumping into walls and catching themselves resulting in injury could be a sign the person is struggling with balance and may be a precursor to an actual fall. A safety monitoring device to allow the person to call for help should be considered. Additionally, speaking with a doctor and consider rehabilitation would be helpful.

Difficulty getting around the home

Taking a long time or being unstable when rising from chairs, the toilet, etc, loss of balance, difficulty in/ out of bed, “furniture walking” / having a hand on furniture, walls or counters for balance at all times, tripping, avoiding going to certain areas or outside, etc.

Balance deficits, visual deficits, lack of coordination, strength and endurance can all contribute to mobility difficulties. Therapy under the direction or a doctor or home modifications may be helpful. This shouldn’t be neglected or written off as a bad day as it is important the person is able to escape in case of emergency.

Changes in weight

Weight loss, weight gain, sudden fluctuations. There are many underlying medical conditions that many influence weight as well as other factor including difficulty chewing (dentation issues), difficulty swallowing, changes in taste (losing sensitivity of taste buds), underlying mood disorders (depression, anxiety), difficulty accessing food (grocery shopping, financial difficulties).

It is important to speak to a doctor to further determine the cause and a plan forward. Speech therapy under the direction of the doctor may be helpful for some swallowing issues. Addressing the issue earlier rather than later to prevent nutritional deficiencies or an overall worsening condition is also important.

Signs of incontinence or “accidents”

Smells of urine or bowel, stains on chairs or carpet, towels in chairs, limited or no clean clothes, clothes in trash, etc.

Sometimes people assume there is nothing that can be done and incontinence is part of aging. However, there are pelvic health specialist / therapist that can provide treatment such as prescribing exercises, behavioral modifications, internal work, etc. I strongly encourage a consultation as not addressing the issue can lead to an increased risk of anxiety, depression, self isolation, urinary tract infections and skin breakdown.

Click to see our resources page learn more about incontinence and locate pelvic health therapists.

Not changing clothing

Same clothes for several days, dirty clothes, body odor.

This could be due to cognitive/ memory deficits or forgetting, mood disorders, lack of endurance, balance, mobility to complete dressing tasks or dressing just wears them out, inability to wash clothes, limited resources required to wash clothes (cannot afford detergent). Considering a caregiver to assist or a rehabilitation referral from a doctor may be helpful. Look to community resources or government assistance for financial hardships.

Difficulty with cooking or meal prep

Weight loss due to not eating, weight gain due to poor eating habits, messy kitchen, burns from attempting to cook, recent fire or near fire, expired food in refrigerator, minimal food in refrigerator, falls in the kitchen, fear of going into the kitchen, etc.

Cognitive and memory declines, difficulty with balance, mobility, strength and endurance or depression may cause difficulty with making food. Hiring caregivers, seeking out a meal delivery service (meals on wheels or other community services) or consulting a doctor to see if an occupational therapy evaluation is warranted may be helpful.

If someone has difficulty with cooking because of pain in their hands or arthritis, see if the items here could help.

Easily upset or irritable

Becomes defensive, tense facial expressions, angry or raised tone of voice, fidgeting, pacing.

Being upset or irritable can be caused by many things including pain, poor sleep, confusion, inability to remember something, misplacing items, over stimulation or being overwhelmed. It is important to note that sometimes this can be associated with dementias, but not always. Make sure the doctor is aware of this new behavior to assess more throughly or make referrals as they see fit.

Getting Lost

Reports of going to neighbors house, wandering the neighborhood, driving and not knowing how to get back, police found the person lost, etc.

Getting lost may be a result of cognitive or memory deficits related to dementia. Sometimes infections, adverse reactions to medications or other medical conditions themselves can cause a temporary confusion. Consulting a doctor to find a root cause can give direction for a solution. For dementia, caregivers, memory care units, stopping driving, alarms on doors, monitors, etc. can be helpful depending on severity and the living situation.

General Memory Issues

Forgetting to pay bills, not watering plants, forgetting location of important items (wallet, keys, medical cards, phone), forgetting medications, unable to reasonably recall the date, unaware of location, etc.

There is obviously a wide range of memory deficits and some can be addressed with compensatory strategies such as a calendar, reminders through a smart device (Alexa), automatic pill dispenser and some more severe deficits will require caregiver assistance.

See Aging Uniquely’s Tips for more ideas to compensate for mild memory loss.

Check out these items to help someone stay organized, tell the correct date and help with taking medications.

Sleeping Difficulties

Sleeping during the day, fatigue, confusion or tiredness during the day, falls or wandering at night, etc.

Sleeping difficulties can occur for a variety of reasons including someone’s circadian rhythm (sleep/wake cycle) being disturbed, boredom, low endurance or fatigue resulting in sleeping during the day and unable to at night or waking up at night to urinate or due to pain. People with dementia may also experience difficulty with sleep / wake cycles. Sleep hygiene (bedtime routines) and continence management treatments may help. Speak with your doctor about other treatments.

Not taking medications or signs of not taking medications

Medications still left in a pill box, empty pill bottles with no replacement for refill, exacerbation of symptoms the medication was prescribed to treat (ex. high blood pressure when the person has blood pressure pills, swelling in legs when someone has pills for swelling, (* Note: the person may also be taking the medication as prescribed and need to see the doctor for further assessment if their issue isn’t improving or maintaining as expected by the doctor).

Memory deficits, unpleasant side effects of medications, lack of money to buy medications and not believing in using western medicine are a few reasons this may occur. Speaking to a doctor about non-compliance is important to minimize the risk of an exacerbation of illness and make a plan going forward.

See devices to help with managing medications.

Neglecting housekeeping / laundry

Dirty floors, unkept kitchen, odors especially in the bathroom, expired food in the refrigerator, insect or rodent infestations, dirty clothes, towels or bedsheets etc.

Mobility challenges, balance deficits, fear of falling, lack of strength and endurance, cognitive deficits resulting in poor realization of need to complete these tasks and mood disorders are a few reasons cleaning could be neglected. Hiring assistance or considering occupational therapy as prescribed by a doctor may be helpful.

Neglecting home maintenance

Lawn not mowed, overgrown brush, fire alarm batteries not changed, dirty windows, noticing major structural issues (roof leaking, cracks in the foundation), flooding, etc.

Decreased endurance, strength, balance and mobility may result in someone feeling unsafe completing these tasks. Lack of money to buy items to repair the home or cognitive deficits resulting in the person not even realizing the need to complete these tasks may also be the issue. It is important to not encourage unsafe behaviors such as home maintenance when the person is at high risk of falls or injuries. Hiring a handy man or finding alternative housing options may be beneficial.

See Traditional Senior Living Options and Alternative and Creative Senior Living Options for ideas.

View our printable Home Maintenance Checklist that include specific considerations for seniors.

Difficulties with health management

Not taking medications, missing doctors appointments, do not know when last doctors appoint was or when annual appointment is, not taking blood pressure, blood sugar level, weight or other vitals as prescribed by a doctor, not realizing when there is a medical issue that requires attention (ex. does not seek medical attention for ongoing chest pain or pain with urination, etc).

Poor management of medical needs and health can be an intention decision to not do something for a variety of personal reasons or be related to cognitive or memory deficits. It is important to rule out financial difficulties and ensure the person is not skipping medications or not going to appointments due to associated costs. Side effects of medications are another reason people are not taking medications and this should be discussed with the doctor. Additional care services or instilling habits, routines and organizational strategies may be helpful to improve health management.

Difficulties with financial management

Unpaid bills, poor credit scores, repo notices of homes, cars, etc., not knowing their budget or sticking to their budget, not knowing approximately how much money the person has, becoming irritated when not understanding bills, etc.

Difficulties with financial management may be due to cognitive or memory deficits. Financial management requires many different mental capabilities including executive functioning abilities and may be difficult for those with even a mild cognitive impairment. It is important to step in and offer assistance early to avoid costly mistakes. Be sure to approach the topic correctly as this can be a very private matter and be a symbol of independence for many people.

Poor Judgement

Falling for scams, letting strangers in their home, giving away money they don’t really have to unknown institutions, wearing inappropriate clothing relative to the weather, thinking they can do something safely they do not have the ability to do (ex. climb a ladder when having poor balance after a stroke), not following medical advice, etc.

Speaking with a doctor about cognitive changes and making a plan going forward to minimize risks of injuries or financial consequences can be helpful.

Inability to care for pets

Pets loosing weight, pet urine of feces in the home, dirty litter box, empty water bottle, poor grooming, pet not acting well, unable to walk the dog and expired rabies shot.

Telling someone they can no longer have their pet can be devastating and have significant negative effects on physical and mental health. If the pet is not posing an immediate fall risk or other danger, consider automated items (pet feeders, water bowls and litter boxes) and a pet care service. Additionally, therapies may be able to address balance, endurance and put in place compensatory strategies for cognition to improve pet care abilities.

See our Resources page under Pet Care to for more information and automated pet items ideas.

It is important that you do not neglect these signs and have open and honest communication to address the issues earlier than later. When I was a home health therapist, I heard several clients state they really needed assistance with items or just someone to bring them items, but did not want to “bother their children.” If you are able, offering assistance or even to bring items can be very helpful in preventing larger issues. Be sure to reach out to the primary care doctor to determine a source to better guide you towards solutions and catch any medical conditions earlier rather than later.

See Ways to Improve Communication and Relationships with older adults for more tips on having these conversations.

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By continuing with this site, you are agreeing that you acknowledge and understand this disclaimer in full and will not hold Aging Uniquely, content creators or parent companies liable for the information or use of information on this site because everyone ages uniquely and has unique needs. The content on Aging Uniquely sites is for general information purposes only and Aging Uniquely does not provide medical or health advice. It is not a substitute for medical or health professional advice and you should never ignore professional medical advice or delay seeking emergency care because of something you read on the Aging Uniquely website or social media platforms. If you are experiencing a medical emergency call 911 or seek emergency services. Aging Uniquely is not responsible for what may happen if you use their information in place of medical or professional advice. You are responsible for your own health and safety or how you apply this advice to adults/older adults you support. I highly recommend you consult the proper qualified medical or health profession before implementing any information from Aging Uniquely or other health related websites.